Have you ever just wanted something to change. A life circumstance, are you feeling stuck? In a loop-t-loop, a roller coaster you do not want to ride. I have, I do still and this is what I have come too. I choose my life, my emotions and my environment, but some times you cannot always choose your circumstances, your set backs, when people hurt you real deep. Sometimes thing can look like they are A-OKAY and the next thing you know someone close to you betrays you and you fall flat on your face (been there). I ask myself, "why are you allowing this God?" I hear nothing back, I just see the verse, "Be still and know," which puts my rushing thoughts at ease, but other times I just want to scream in my pillow and hide until it all ends, but I know hiding gets you nowhere, remaining stuck gets you nowhere, but sometimes the glue is so thick and the mess is so large, feeling virtually impossible to come out of.
I wonder how Daniel in the lions den felt when he was thrown in, I wonder if he questioned God and didn't understand what was going on. It is easy to go to church and act like you never question your faith or why things are the way they are, but putting on a face is tiring, pretending to be someone you are not is tiring. If you are depressed, lonely and scared- say it, its not like God doesn't already know this, its not like he doesn't see. At times I feel like I am the blind one, like I am missing something that he is trying to show me, that or situations are just beating me down. I also think that faith isn't something I use just to get through life, but its a journey and one that is so different for each person. What works for me, may not work for you and vise versa, but I see so many shoving there own experiences down peoples throats that they are suffocating others and not allowing them to learn and grow for themselves.
You see, I hate rules I always have, I am a rule breaker in a sense which I am not sure is a good thing, but I do not want to conform to those around me or the patterns of this world. I yearn to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, but it is a task I cannot complete on my own, but one I must seek Gods help from. So when I am stuck and stuck in a rut, I question things, I question where is God or why is this happening, but what I will not question is that he is good even when I am stuck like glue. I know he can unstuck me, its just a matter of when.
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