. I am learning day by day that life is all a matter of choice. We have all experienced pain in one way or another whether it be in childhood, losses, or current situations. One thing I am learning is that happiness should not always depend on circumstance. In life there will always be challenges, struggles and valleys that come, but it is the ability to see that circumstances are just that circumstantial. They do not always last forever, some do, some people experience such tremendous pain in their lives that they do not know what it is like to not feel it or they are in constant need of numbing the pain and escaping the turmoil. Which can lead to addictions, self destruction and complete depression. I am no expert, but I do know this, when I ran from my pain, my fears and insecurities-I lost more of myself then anything else, I lost who I was, the core of me. The more I tried to escape my feelings and emotions I had inside based on my past, based on my lack of self confidence, I fell more and more into a trap of despair, but what is amazing about this, is that the moment I decided I could not do it anymore.
I gained a new perspective on life and a new strength. I learned that ,my poor choices based on pure emotion were leading me into problems I could have avoided. In life we are constantly in a battle of choice and reason. Will I make decisions based on my emotion or will I fight what I am feeling despite my incredibly strong yearning to escape the current pain, instead of facing it. Each person has a different way of dealing with pain and anger wether it is in writing (like me ;)), singing, talking to someone, art, reading or even simply working out. I am learning that in order to change my mindset from a negative one, filling my mind with positive thoughts as well as filling my life with the right choices, choices that my future self will ultimately thank me for is so important. Instead of causing more pain from the pain and creating a destructive cycle in my life. Everything is about perspective whether you look at the sun and appreciate it's beauty or complain about the heat.